“Input” is anything from the outside world that influences your mood, mindset, and emotional state. It includes the media you consume, the books you read, the podcasts and music you listen to, and the movies and shows you watch. But it also encompasses much more: the environment you live and work in, the conversations you have, the people you surround yourself with, and the events, personal or global, that unfold around you.
Think about how different you feel after a weekend in nature versus a week of doom-scrolling social media. That contrast is input at work.
But not all input is created equal.
The Most Influential Input: People
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Harvard researcher Dr. David McClelland echoed that sentiment, asserting that “The people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95% of your success or failure in life.”
It’s something many of us heard growing up. I know my parents constantly asked who I was with and what kind of influence my friends had. Chances are, yours did too.
Yet somehow, as adults, we stop being intentional about this. We become passive. We let the world dictate who we spend time with and what input we allow in, rarely stopping to consider the effects it’s having on us.
Your Output Reflects Your Input
The relationship between what we take in and what we put out is undeniable. When our input is empowering, our output tends to be focused, energized, and constructive. But when our input is negative, toxic, or fear-based, we unconsciously project that into the world as well, through our mood, decisions, and interactions.
And here’s where it gets more impactful: your output becomes someone else’s input.
It’s a ripple effect. If you’re in a bad headspace and bring that energy into a meeting or a family dinner, you influence everyone else’s state, too. Their mood drops, their output suffers, and before you know it, that negativity circles back to you, reinforcing your original state.
This feedback loop doesn’t just impact individuals, it can alter the tone of entire communities, workplaces, even movements.
Leadership Is Shaped by Input
Some of history’s most influential leaders, think Mahatma Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., didn’t wield conventional power. They didn’t lead corporations or command armies. What they did possess was the ability to influence through powerful output. Their words, presence, and vision became input that uplifted, stirred, and mobilized others.
They understood how to shift emotions and energy. Their speeches didn’t just inform, they transformed. And that transformation started with their own internal state.
So, what can we learn from that?
We need to become more intentional about what we allow into our minds and environments. Input matters. It shapes everything.
3 Practical Ways to Manage Your Input
To protect your mental and emotional energy and to increase your own power and influence, start with these three strategies:
1. Curate Your Sources of Input
Everything you consume leaves a residue. Books, podcasts, TV shows, TikToks, YouTube rabbit holes, they’re all shaping your internal world.
This doesn’t mean you need to shut yourself off from reality or ignore global issues. But if your mood starts to shift in a way that makes you feel anxious, apathetic, or cynical, it might be time to switch the channel, literally and metaphorically.
Try swapping late-night news binges for inspiring audiobooks. Replace social media scrolling with a walk while listening to an energizing playlist. These simple changes can radically shift your emotional baseline.
It’s hard, especially when it’s a colleague, family member, or close friend, but if someone constantly brings negativity, chaos, or conditional support into your life, it’s crucial to set limits.
You may not be able to cut ties completely, but you can reduce exposure. Limit unnecessary conversations. Avoid feeding into gossip or drama. Protect your energy by guarding the time and emotional space you give to people who don’t pour back into you.
3. Influence the Output of Others
Even when you can’t choose who you’re around, for example, in a work setting, you can still influence what you absorb. Instead of stewing over someone else’s negative behavior or talking about it with others, minimize your engagement.
But there’s another option, too: try to influence their output. Model positive behavior. Shift the energy in a conversation. Sometimes, your state can be strong enough to lift theirs, flipping the dynamic completely.
Power Begets Power
If you want to lead, build, grow, create, or inspire, your power starts with what you allow into your mind and heart.
Your input becomes your output. And your output affects everything.
Mistakes aren’t the end of the road, they’re feedback.
When I was in high school, I used to believe mistakes meant failure. A bad grade. A poor outcome. But I’ve since learned that mistakes are teachers. They reveal what doesn’t work, giving you valuable direction toward what does.
In today’s digital world, confidence is one of the most powerful assets a young man can develop. But true confidence doesn’t come from pretending or from shortcuts, it comes from evidence.
Evidence of the skills you’ve built, the values you’ve upheld, and the challenges you’ve overcome.
To save time, avoid wasted effort, and grow stronger, here are seven common mistakes you must avoid if you want to become more confident in the digital age.
1. Getting Distracted Instead of Mastering a Skill
Most young men spend their free time partying, drinking, or chasing temporary thrills. While fun in the moment, it robs you of growth. Alcohol, for instance, dulls your focus, disrupts your mood, and can even harm your health long-term.
Instead, channel that same time and money into mastering valuable skills, especially soft skills that compound over time:
Writing – Clear writing makes you a respected voice and thought leader.
Leadership – Leading others builds influence and credibility.
Time Management – Managing priorities means you accomplish more and feel in control.
The confidence you build from skills outlasts any weekend hangover.
2. Seeking Approval from Every Woman You Meet
Confidence disappears the moment you chase approval.
When you try to please every woman, you lose yourself. Worse, you come across as needy. The truth is simple: not every woman will like you, and that’s okay. What matters is attracting someone who values you for who you are.
In dating, remember:
Some women will like you.
Some will dislike you.
A few will truly love you.
Your job isn’t to win over the world. It’s to know your strengths, hold to your values, and connect with someone who shares them.
3. Giving Up Too Early Instead of Adjusting Your Plan
Many young men quit before they’ve truly started.
When I began writing online, I wanted to become a professional ghostwriter. But I quickly realised most professionals had written thousands of articles and had decades of experience. The average beginner quits before writing 100 pieces. That’s like dropping out before you’ve even built momentum.
Instead of quitting, adjust your plan:
Use feedback to refine your approach.
See mistakes as experiments.
Shift strategies without abandoning the mission.
Persistence creates confidence. Every iteration makes you stronger.
4. Practicing Negative Self-Talk Instead of Positive Affirmations
Your inner voice can make or break your confidence.
Affirmations shape your mindset, improve your mood, and keep your actions aligned with the future you want to build.
5. Comparing Yourself to Others Instead of Owning Your Path
Comparison is poison in the digital age.
Social media highlights the best of others while hiding the struggle behind the scenes. Constant comparison leaves you feeling inadequate. The most successful people don’t compete; they create. They carve their own lane.
Take ChatGPT, for example. Instead of competing with existing search tools, it pioneered generative AI. That’s why millions now use it.
Your mission is the same: experiment, create, and discover your strengths. The more you walk your own path, the less competition matters.
6. Ignoring Body Language and Presentation
First impressions matter.
People judge you within seconds, often before you say a word. Worn-out clothes, poor posture, or lack of eye contact all silently undermine your confidence.
To improve:
Dress appropriately for the setting.
Observe others before stepping forward.
Listen actively, communication is more than speaking.
Non-verbal communication is a superpower. Master it, and people will feel your presence before you’ve spoken a single word.
7. Avoiding Discomfort Instead of Facing Your Fears
Comfort zones kill confidence.
Growth happens when you lean into discomfort. Fear doesn’t mean stop; it means pay attention. The men who take action despite fear are the ones others admire and follow.
Here’s what happens when you face your fears:
You inspire others with your courage.
You develop real resilience.
You meet people and opportunities you’d never find otherwise.
Confidence in the digital age isn’t about pretending, shortcuts, or external validation. It’s built through evidence, skills learned, values honoured, and fears faced.
Mistakes will happen. But when you learn from them instead of running from them, you step into real confidence. And with that, you’ll be prepared not just to succeed in the digital world, but to thrive in every area of life.
Do you think leaders should be tall and handsome? Do you opine leaders must know everything? Do you think leaders must have a magic wand? Do you think women cannot make good leaders? Do you think leaders should be intelligent with a strong academic background?
Then you need to reconsider your views on leaders and leadership. There are several myths associated with leaders and leadership. And there are several definitions of leader and leadership. If you hit Google you get a huge number of hits on leaders and leadership, and many definitions of leadership. Hence, before we define leader and leadership, it is essential to debunk several myths about leaders and leadership.
Myth # 1: Leaders are born, not made.
Truth: Several theories are highlighting various aspects of leadership such as skills theory, behavioral theory, great man theory, trait theory, etc., Previously people believed that either people had leadership qualities, or not.
Truth: People often think that leaders must be tall with great height so that they will be able to influence others. No doubt, having a great height is an asset but some great leaders were short in height but achieved greatness. For instance, Alexander was short in height but became great through his conquests more than 2,300 years ago.
Although Adolf Hitler failed during the Second World War, he was a leader who was short in height. Similarly, Mahatma Gandhi was also short in height but he achieved India’s independence through truth and non-violence. Hence, height is not the criterion to become a leader.
Myth # 3: Leaders must be handsome.
Truth: Leaders must walk their talk and set an example for others to follow. They must have a vision, be able to influence others, build successful teams, motivate, and finally accomplish their goals and objectives. Hence, there is no connection between their roles and physical appearance. For instance, Abraham Lincoln was not good-looking, but he proved to be one of the best presidents of America.
Myth # 4:Leaders must be highly intelligent.
Truth: Numerous examples prove beyond doubt that leaders hail from an average academic background. When we look at the leaders of Fortune 500 companies, it reveals that more than 50 percent of CEOs hail from an average academic background.
However, having an academic qualification is an asset for a leader. But every leader must not be academically intelligent. When we look at Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Michael Dell, Steve Jobs, and Mark Zuckerberg, they are all college dropouts. Hence, we can emphatically conclude that most leaders have average intelligence.
Myth # 5: Leaders must be extroverts.
Truth: Some leaders are introverts yet proved their leadership qualities. Steve Jobs of Apple Computers was an introvert who proved as an innovation legend during his lifetime. It is the nature of people either to be introverts or extroverts, and it has nothing to do with leadership.
Myth # 6: Leaders must be veterans.
Truth: Having experience and being older is an asset to leaders as they make fewer mistakes, and benefit from their vast experience and age. At times, it proves to be costly for these veterans as they have preconceived ideas with a regimented mindset.
The young have fire in their bellies and are ready to experiment and explore their ideas, and mostly they achieve and succeed in their lives. Several leaders proved their leadership potential at a relatively young age. For instance, Alexander, the Great achieved greatness by the age of 34 itself and led people of all age groups despite being young.
Various business leaders such as Michael Dell, Mark Zuckerberg, and Bill Gates proved as business leaders at a young age itself. And Barack Obama has become the president of America at the relatively young age of 47 and also, John F. Kennedy became President at a young age. These young leaders broke the age-old myth by leading the veterans.
“The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born ― that there is a genetic factor to leadership. This myth asserts that people simply either have certain charismatic qualities or not. That’s nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born.” ―Warren G. Bennis
Myth # 7: Leaders must be charismatic.
Truth: Charisma is an exclusive charm and magnetism some people possess. It is the ability to dress well, speak well, present with positive body language, and radiate constant energy and enthusiasm. If leaders possess charisma it is an asset, but not possessing it, is not a liability. Some leaders proved their best without any charisma. Succinctly, character counts, not charisma.
Myth # 8: Leaders must be orators.
Truth: It is a fact that good leaders are great orators, but it is not necessary that leaders must be orators. For instance, Alex Ferguson is a great leader if you consider his results with Manchester United, but he was not a great orator. Some leaders are not great orators, but they still succeeded as leaders. Leadership is a blend of various traits, skills, and abilities.
While some possess some qualities, others possess some other qualities. You must consider leadership holistically with a blend and balance of various aspects.
Myth # 9: Leaders must have titles and positions.
Truth: The positions and titles are temporary. What is important is the individual capacity to lead from the front, not the titles or positions. If leadership is based on positions, why do we see a few leaders falling apart from their positions? Leadership is performance-driven, not position, or role-driven.
According to social psychologists, John French and Bertram Raven, power is divided into five forms—legitimate, coercive, reward, expert, and referent power. One who holds his/her power just because of his/her legal standing vested in him/her by an organization is known as legitimate power. Such people hold power as long as they hold their legitimate positions.
Coercive power is a negative power such as threats, or punishments that usually prevail in autocratic societies, and such people are hardly respected. Reward power is the ability to reward others and people enjoy their positions as long as they reward others.
Expert power is the position where people have expertise in some areas. Precisely, they are domain experts. Finally, referent power is the power where people enjoy status not bestowed by law, or position but because people admire such leaders.
Leaders such as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. Dalai Lama, Mother Teresa, and Nelson Mandela enjoyed referent power as people revered and supported them. Most of the leaders survive on their expert power and fade away in history.
However, those leaders who passionately deliver goods through their expertise enjoy referent power. Hence, titles and positions don’t make real leaders, but their referent power makes them true leaders.
Myth # 10: Leaders are self-appointed.
Truth: You cannot claim yourself to be a leader. It is the people who must accept and consider you a leader. It gives you strength as a leader and demonstrates your humility. If you appoint yourself as a leader and blow your own trumpet, you will be treated as a chatterbox and a person who craves hype.
Myth # 11: Leaders have all solutions for problems.
Truth: Leaders are the people who are not ready with solutions but the people who take responsibility and search for solutions.
If followers emphasize people and problems, the leaders emphasize prospects. If followers brood on individuals and issues, the leaders invent ideas for resolving various challenges. Most of the time leaders take initiative and discuss with others, create multiple solutions, and then shortlist the best one for implementation.
Myth # 12: Leadership is observed only in the workplace.
Truth: As a leader, you are always under the scanner. Don’t assume that your leadership is observed only during working hours, and in the workplace. People keep an eye on you outside the workplace to observe and learn from you. Hence, leaders must be careful about, the way they dress, and the way they walk and talk.
Myth # 13:Leaders must have a long tenure.
Truth: Your length and duration of survival as a leader are not the criteria. In contrast, how well you lead and leave a mark for others to follow is the criterion for leadership. For instance, Abraham Lincoln was assassinated before the completion of the presidential term.
However, the impact he made before his presidential tenure is amazing in the history of America. He has been rated as one of the most influential Presidents of America who survived the challenges of the division of America between the north and the south. He successfully demonstrated his leadership skills and worked for the unity of America apart from ensuring the abolition of slavery in America.
When you look at Alexander the Great, he too had a short tenure and died young much before 34 years. Hence, the quality of presence is more important than the quantity of presence.
Myth # 14:Leaders should not have any weaknesses.
Truth: Every leader is a human being first. Every human being has both strengths and weaknesses. The only greatness with leaders is that they realize their weaknesses and convert them into strengths, and threats into opportunities. Whenever they make mistakes due to their weaknesses they realize, correct, and move forward aggressively without being overly worried about them.
Myth # 15:Leaders are masters, not servants.
Truth: Robert Greenleaf propounded servant leadership where leadership is serving others with a great heart. Leaders demonstrate and show to others while leading. Leadership is not in sitting in cushion chairs and making decisions. Leadership is walking the talk and setting an example for others to emulate and excel. Above all, leadership is to serve others by remaining as a servant with humility.
Myth # 16:Leaders grow on trees.
Truth: Leaders grow from the grass-root level, not the other way round. It is a bottom-to-top approach rather than a top-to-bottom approach. The kind of experience and exposure churns real leaders at the ground level to come to the fore. It distinguishes cheese from chalk. Indeed, the cream always comes to the top. Hence, true leaders rise from ranks.
Myth # 17:Leadership is a solo act.
Truth: Leadership is teamwork. No individual can take credit for the success of the entire team. Besides, there are several myths such as leaders are born in a particular community, culture, country, race, religion, and language. The truth is that they are born everywhere. Some complain about destiny for not being born in majority communities.
The leaders can also emerge from minority communities leading the majority. Barack Obama is an amazing example for all of us who were born black, with a Muslim father and Christian mother with origins outside America but led America and the world from the front.
Myth # 18: Women cannot excel as leaders.
Truth: Gender has nothing to do with leadership. It is a fact that women have more challenges than men to prove themselves as leaders as some organizations don’t encourage women to be on par with men although legally women are on par with men.
Globally very few women did great as leaders leaving exceptions like Queen Elizabeth, Joan of Arc, Florence Nightingale, Eleanor Roosevelt, Frances Hesselbein, and Margaret Thatcher. Indra Nooyi, the former Chairman & CEO of PepsiCo is a corporate woman leader who broke the glass ceiling and became a role model for all women. Being born as a woman is not a liability.
It all depends on how you lead and prove yourself. Women have several advantages over men as they are emotionally more intelligent, better at multitasking, assertive, and have soft skills. Hence, they can prove themselves as successful leaders along with men.
Myth # 19:Everybody cannot become a leader.
Truth: Leadership is not the privilege of a few people. The proven fact is that anybody and everybody can excel as a leader if there is a passion to serve and make a difference in the lives of others. Warren Bennis and Burt Nanus in their book titled, Leaders: The strategies for taking charge identified five great leadership myths leadership is a rare skill, leaders are born, not made, leaders are charismatic, leaders exist only at the top of an organization, and the leader controls, directs and manipulates. Hence, debunk all these myths to have the right approach towards leadership.
Myth # 20: Once a leader is forever a leader.
Truth: Leadership changes from time to time because what worked for some time may not work again due to rapid changes in technology. Hence, leaders must reinvent with changing times. Else, they will soon be forgotten leading to leadership decay. At times, circumstances might favor a person to become a leader, but the same leader fails in different circumstances.
Jack Welch rightly remarked, “The Jack Welch of the future cannot be like me. I spent my entire career in the United States. The next head of General Electric will be somebody who spent time in Bombay, Hong Kong, in Buenos Aires.
We have to send our best and brightest overseas and made sure they have the training that will allow them to be the global leaders who will make GE flourish in the future.” To evolve and excel as successful leaders, leaders must learn and grow continuously and they must take feedback constantly.
Myth # 21: Leadership can’t be taught.
Truth: Leadership is a skill, not a talent. Had it been a talent it would have been tough to teach leadership. But leadership is a skill, and it can be taught. There is a difference between talents and skills. Talents are inborn where people bring in through heredity.
In contrast, skills can be cultivated through training, teaching, observation, reading, experience, and practice. Daniel Goleman said that leadership depends more on emotional intelligence and less on an intelligence quotient. And emotional intelligence can be taught. Hence, leadership can be taught.
Alexandra Engler is the senior beauty and lifestyle director at mindbodygreen and host of the beauty podcast Clean Beauty School. Previously, she’s held beauty roles at Harper’s Bazaar, Marie Claire, SELF, and Cosmopolitan; her byline has appeared in Esquire, Sports Illustrated, and Allure.com.
When the right people come together, good things happen. When those people are united by a passion for living well? Well, then that sounds like mindbodygreen’s 2025 Revitalize summit.
Gathering at a serene destination in Miami, a vibrant community of wellness visionaries came together for our tentpole summit—all with the goal of exploring the latest in health, longevity, and strength. From thought-provoking conversations and cutting-edge wellness insights to energizing activations and moments of true connection, the atmosphere was electric.
Couldn’t join us in Miami? No worries—we’re bringing the magic to you. Here are the most powerful, perspective-shifting takeaways from our experts that you won’t want to miss.
1. We deserve to take up space & be strong
The unfortunate truth is that many people—women, especially—have been conditioned to feel undeserving of putting themselves and their health first. But the primary message from renowned orthopedic surgeon Vonda Wright, M.D., is that strength is something we all deserve.
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“I just want to encourage you that you are worth taking up some space. You are worth being strong,” she said to our audience during the kick-off Q&A. “You are worth putting in the work to avoid the future that I see in my orthopedic practice all the time, which is one of frailty.”
To avoid frailty, part of what Wright preaches is practical: Eat more protein, lift heavy weights, move aerobically.
But the other part is mental.
“Develop an unbreakable mindset,” she says. “That means knowing that we can have control over situations and not be the passive victim. It means being committed to a goal, whether it’s never becoming frail or something else in your life. And finally, realizing that we have agency to make small choices that can change our very trajectory of our health. We are not the victims of the passage of time.”
2. Total rejuvenation is a multisensory experience
In today’s always-on environment, it can feel almost impossible to find a moment of calm. In fact, a Lincoln survey of over 1,000 adults found that more than half of Americans (53%) say their greatest barrier to de-stressing is simply finding a suitable place to unwind.
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So, at our Lincoln Rejuvenate Lounge, we explored how to create a space that can actually help you unwind. Inspired by the Lincoln Rejuvenate feature found in the Lincoln Nautilus and the all-new 2025 Navigator, the lounge was a dedicated third space where our guests could center themselves amid a busy day—complete with hand massages, a fragrance bar, and the opportunity to test out the Lincoln Rejuvenate feature in an on-site Lincoln Navigator or Nautilus.
Lincoln’s Rejuvenate feature is a multisensory in-vehicle experience with the profound ability to relax both mind and body. It includes adjustable seats with built-in massage and warming functions designed to help melt away tension. Immersive, soothing lighting and ambient soundscapes set the stage for mindful meditation. And Lincoln Digital Scent technology transforms the space into an aromatic sanctuary, using the power of olfactory stimulation to enhance mood.
“The Rejuvenate feature—it massages you, plays calming visuals and audio, even releases a light scent—I mean, that’s next-level relaxation. I honestly didn’t realize how many things I now consider essentials until I experienced them all in one place,” said one Revitalize guest after testing out the feature.
And according to a study conducted alongside Purdue, participants who tried the Rejuvenate feature actually felt the benefits—not just anecdotally, but according to hard data. In the study, they experienced slower and more consistent heart rates (33 ms improvement), showed a calmer nervous system response (5 ms improvement in heart rate variability), and exhibited brain activity patterns that indicated greater relaxation and reduced stress levels.
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To learn about Lincoln Rejuvenate, just listen to mindbodygreen co-founder and co-CEO Jason Wachob: “This is a well-being car,” he says. “What they are doing with the Lincoln Rejuvenate feature is incredibly relaxing. I am like the biggest fan of this vehicle. It is the coolest car I’ve ever been in.”
3. Don’t skip base camp
The wellness world can feel overwhelming. In trying to keep up with the latest gadgets and protocols, it can make anyone feel like they’re falling behind. But mobility coach Juliet Starrett assures us that the most profound and powerful tools are the ones we can fit in daily.
“What we’re seeing in the longevity space is a lot of people trying to skip base camp. If you’re climbing Everest, you have to spend six weeks acclimating at base camp before making the ascent,” says Starrett. “But in this space, people are jumping straight into the climb—they’re doing red light therapy, cold plunges, saunas—which is all fine; I’m not against any of it. The problem is, they’ve skipped the fundamentals.”
And those fundamentals? It’s the lessons that have been tested by time.
“Our perspective is master the basics first. Once you’ve done that, then you’ve earned the right to experiment with the gadgets. For us, the basics—what we call ‘base camp’—are simple: Walk 8,000 steps a day, sit on the ground for 30 minutes, eat fruits and vegetables, get 0.8 gram of protein per pound of body weight, strength train four to five days a week, and sleep eight hours a night. That’s it. Nail those, and then build from there.”
4. The importance of third spaces for mental well-being
Third spaces have become an important part of the wellness conversation, as they serve a vital function in our mental and physical health. They are the places outside of our home (first space) or work (second space) that we turn to for relaxation, connection, or time just for ourselves.
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In our Q&A, made in partnership with Lincoln—our premier partners at Revitalize—we looked into how vehicles may be an underutilized space to promote well-being. In fact, with the right features, our vehicles may be the ideal third space.
“ One way I think we could think about a third space is that you have an origin and a destination. So, what’s that in between space?” says Damon Riggs, product planning and strategy manager at Lincoln, who spoke with Wachob. “This could be metaphorically or literally. In a vehicle, it’s both. Literally, you’re going from point A to B. But metaphorically, it’s also a place to get in that right mind space. We want Lincoln vehicles to be a place you can transform.”
Explaining the science of a third space environment, Riggs noted how making small sensory upgrades can dramatically improve our well-being. For example, Lincoln’s Auto Air Refresh “uses sensors inside and outside of the vehicle to measure the air and ensure that the air in the cabin is as healthy as it can be,” he said. “Air quality—CO2 levels, particulate matter, all that stuff—is correlated with health and even cognition.”
Lighting can be an important element too, Riggs notes. For example, Lincoln‘s approach to both natural and artificial light kept full-body health in mind.
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“Natural light is good for your body, circadian rhythm, and mental well-being. In our vehicles, we have something we call the ‘Vista Roof,’ which is a huge panoramic roof. And just that alone helps people get natural light into their day-to-day life,” he says. “But artificial light—when using the right intensity, colors, and wavelengths—can also be effective at improving mental health and well-being, like in the Rejuvenate feature.”
“You could enter the vehicle stressed, distracted, or just in a mental space that you don’t want to be in,” he says. “If you want to be calm, focused, or grounded, then you can go through a five- or 10-minute Rejuvenate session, which will help encourage you to be in the mental space that you want to be in.”
5. Good stress is how you build resilience & longevity
Stress gets a bad rap. That’s because most of the stress we experience in our day-to-day lives is detrimental to us—or what Yale- and Harvard-trained internal medicine physician Sharon Horesh Bergquist, M.D., calls “bad stress.” Bad stress is what erodes the body and mind, leaving us feeling depleted.
But good stress? Well, Horesh Bergquist says that’s the key to feeling your best.
“Why do we need these ‘good stressors’? Because every one of us has the innate ability to regenerate—to repair damage, renew cells, and restore function. These stressors are what unlock that potential,” she says. “They reduce inflammation, boost our antioxidant defenses, repair proteins and DNA, activate autophagy (our cellular recycling process), and even help us generate new mitochondria, increasing our metabolic energy.”
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A few good stressors that she likes to add to her routine are dietary phytochemicals, intervals of intense physical activity, thermal exposure to heat or cold, and fasting in alignment with our circadian rhythms.
These, combined with recovery, are how to build a stronger body. “Recovery is actually the yin and yang of the good stress. During stress, our bodies become more efficient—we turn on these stress-resistant pathways, but it’s in recovery that our bodies remodel,” she explains.
For recovery, she turns to nature: “My favorite way to reset is by syncing with nature—stepping outside and fully engaging all my senses: sight, touch, sound, even smell and taste. When I immerse myself in nature like that, it helps lower cortisol levels, reduce heart rate, and decrease blood pressure. It’s a simple but incredibly effective way to restore balance,” she says.
The takeaway
At mindbodygreen, we believe wellness isn’t about chasing perfection—it’s about creating space for progress, connection, and the practices that help us feel our best. Revitalize 2025 was a celebration of that spirit: a reminder that the future of well-being is not just personal but collective.
Whether it’s mastering the fundamentals, embracing next-gen innovation, or simply finding a moment of peace in the in-between, the path to vitality is one we walk together.
As the year winds down, life seems to speed up so quickly! Between work deadlines, school events, holiday travel, and endless to-do lists, it’s easy to feel like the season is happening to you instead of for you.
The truth is, a little preparation now can make a world of difference later. That’s why we love using fall as a little reset season — a time to pause, tidy up, and get grounded before the full-blown holiday whirlwind begins.
These five simple decluttering and organizing steps will help you reclaim your home (and your sanity) before the year’s busiest months arrive.
1. Clear Out the Summer Chaos
Before the first pumpkin spice candle gets lit, take a beat to say goodbye to summer. (Bye Summer!!!)
Pack away swimsuits, pool toys, and beach towels in clearly labeled bins.
Use vacuum-seal bags for bulky linens or clothes, they’ll save so much space.
Donate or toss what didn’t get used this year. (If you didn’t reach for it once, chances are you won’t next summer either.)
By clearing out the old, you make room for cozy layers, holiday décor, and a calmer headspace. As we share in Tidying Up, letting go of seasonal clutter isn’t just about organization, it’s about releasing mental weight, too. Every bin you pack away now is one less thing demanding your attention later.
2. Create Cozy, Intentional Corners
The end of the year often comes with more time indoors, AND more chaos from everyone being home. That’s why we swear by creating little “zones” around your home.
Think: a warm reading nook with your favorite throw blanket, a simple coffee bar for morning rituals, or even a candle-lit spot to breathe for 10 quiet minutes after work.
You don’t need to redecorate an entire room, just layer in comfort:
Soft throws and pillows in warm tones
A small lamp or twinkle lights for gentle lighting
Baskets to hold blankets or current reads
When your environment feels cozy and intentional, it has a grounding effect. These spaces remind you that home is your calm, not your chaos, something we revisit often in our book as a guiding principle for every room.
3. Refresh the Entryway & Drop Zone
This is the season when everything piles up: coats, boots, backpacks, mail, gifts; and somehow, it all lands by the front door!
A few small systems can make that area feel manageable again:
Add bins or baskets for gloves, hats, and scarves.
Keep a boot tray or small rug for wet shoes.
Use wall hooks for coats and bags so they don’t end up on the floor.
Create a small catchall for keys, mail, or sunglasses.
This zone of order sets the tone for your entire home. When you walk in, you don’t want to feel immediate overwhelm, you want to feel like you can come in, relax and get ready for the rest of the day.
4. Reset Your Closets & Pantry
Between sweater weather and holiday baking season, these two areas do a lot of heavy lifting at the end of the year. A quick reset now will save hours of frustration later.
Rotate seasonal clothing: Move heavier layers forward and lighter pieces to the back.
Declutter shoes and accessories: Donate what’s worn out or unloved.
Restock pantry basics: Think soups, broths, baking supplies, and your favorite comfort staples.
Label containers: It sounds small, but labeled bins make it easier for everyone in the house to find (and return) things where they belong.
The best part? A well-organized pantry or closet gives you instant peace! That quiet satisfaction of knowing exactly what you have and where it goes. It’s a small act that creates a big sense of control during an unpredictable season.
5. Add Functional Fall Decor
Decorating for fall doesn’t have to mean filling every surface. Instead, look for beautiful items that also serve a purpose:
A decorative basket that hides remote controls
A woven tray that corrals mugs or candles
Neutral pumpkins or wreaths that bring warmth without clutter
As we write in Tidying Up, *a styled space should still serve you*. The goal is to add joy, not more to clean up later. Choose pieces that make you smile and simplify your space at the same time.
Why This Matters: Your Space Reflects Your State
When life feels busy and overwhelming, home should be your anchor, not another stressor in your life. Taking a little time to prepare your environment now sets you up for a calmer, more joyful holiday season.
Each of these steps is simple, but together they help create what we call functional peace: a home that looks beautiful, feels organized, and supports your real life.
And if you’re ready to go deeper, our book Tidying Up: 100 Ways to Infuse Order and Joy in Every Area of Your Home dives into this idea room by room. We show you how small, consistent actions create lasting calm. Whether you’re reworking your pantry, simplifying your laundry room, or just trying to make mornings smoother, the goal is always the same: a home that feels good to live in.
Wrapping It All Up
Each of these decluttering tips is essential for maintaining order.
Before the holidays hit full force, take one weekend to tackle these five easy resets. Light a candle, play your favorite playlist, and treat the process like an act of self-care. Because IT IS!
Your future self (and your December schedule) will thank you. With just a little effort now, you’ll move into the most hectic months of the year feeling ready, refreshed, and genuinely at peace in your home.
And that’s what Tidying Up is all about, creating space for joy, calm, and the moments that matter most!
Braelyn Wood is the Deputy Commerce Editor at mindbodygreen. She has a B.S. in journalism from Northwestern University, along with a certificate in marketing.
As a BetterHelp affiliate, we earn compensation from BetterHelp if you purchase products or services through the links provided.
Starting therapy should be exciting. Support and guidance from a licensed therapist can make it easier to deal with the natural ebbs and flows of life. But it’s easy to feel intimidated by the process, especially when there are so many misconceptions floating around about therapy.
Ahead of your first session, we’re breaking down the biggest myths about therapy to help ease any lingering fears—so you can prioritize your mental health without apprehension.
The biggest myths about therapy
1. Therapy is an expensive luxury.
The average cost of an in-person therapy session in the United States is about $100 to $250 without insurance. Seeking out a therapist with sliding scale pricing is a great way to find an option within your budget—but that’s not the only way to save!
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Online therapy is up to 50% more affordable than in-person options with platforms like BetterHelp. Similar to with in-person therapy, these licensed mental health experts can integrate a range of evidence-based therapy techniques to help reflect on the last year (and reimagine what’s ahead). It’s also far more approachable, with appointments available from the comfort of your home.
2. Online therapy isn’t as efficient as in-person therapy.
Still doubting the benefits of telehealth? Research shows online therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy for treating common mental health conditions with physiological support. Plus, chatting online can be easier for people who are just starting out with therapy—so you can start out with texts or live chats and progress to video call as you get more comfortable with your licensed expert.
Just remember: It’s important to make sure any online therapist is credentialed. For example, BetterHelp vets each professional by verifying their therapist’s license, education, and clinical experience. In some cases, licensed experts even complete case studies to assess their clinical skills.
Ultimately, what you get out of therapy is what you put in—and your preferred appointment type won’t get in the way of your progress.
BetterHelp
mindbodygreen readers can save 25% on their first month with our link.
Therapy gives you the tools to unpack the past, handle the presence, and plan for the future. While some people feel like they have enough tools to tackle a big project after preparing for a few months, others might want to revisit the instructions a few times or add one more hammer to their toolbox.
All that to say, there’s no “right” amount of time to work with a licensed therapist. You might realize that you prefer short bouts of support during hard times, or you might discover that consistent weekly support is essential for you to thrive. Either way, it’s about deciding what works best for you with the help of your therapist.
4. Therapy is only for rehashing the past.
Most of us share the same vision of therapy: You’re lying on an uncomfortable leather couch and somberly discussing your family history. And while therapy will definitely help you to understand how your current behaviors came to be, it’s also a useful tool for creating the future you want.
With 2025 officially underway, you have a blank slate to write your story. Allow your therapy sessions to help you enter a new chapter with techniques and strategies that allow you to build your best self.
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5. You have to stick with the same therapist.
Think of finding a therapist as being like dating. You won’t always immediately match with the right person—and it can take a few first dates until you find a connection worth pursuing.
Opting for a flexible platform like BetterHelp lets you shop around for a licensed therapist without figuring out new payment methods. What’s more, you can easily sort through 30,000 options to find one that meets your needs, location, and preferences.
BetterHelp
mindbodygreen readers can save 25% on their first month with our link.
6. You’ll feel transformed after your first therapy session.
If only therapy was as simple as attending one session and feeling like a new person—but it’s work. Many people won’t actually start to see the impact of therapy on their lives for at least a few months or even a year. Don’t get discouraged! Every minute of therapy is building the foundation for the future you want.
The takeaway
Whether you’re dealing with a breakup, job stress, or family disagreements, therapy can be a helpful tool for getting a handle on your mental health. As you consider starting therapy, remember these common misconceptions to ensure you’re entering this next stage of life with excitement—not anxiety.
For decades, success was measured by how fast you could climb a ladder that someone else built. Titles were trophies, and promotions were proof of progress.
But what if the ladder is leaning against the wrong wall? What if the very structure we’ve been climbing no longer fits the world we’re in?
The modern career is not a straight ascent; it’s a series of pivots, pauses, and purposeful redirections. Reinvention is no longer a backup plan, it’s the strategy of resilient leaders. The old rules rewarded loyalty and linearity. The new world rewards agility, curiosity, and courage.
We’re living through a time when industries are rewriting themselves faster than people can update their résumés. AI reshapes job descriptions overnight. Entire teams go remote and redefine what connection means. The only constant is change, and the most successful leaders are the ones who treat reinvention as a continuous leadership practice, not a one-time fix.
I learned this early in my own journey. When I moved from the U.S. to Germany with two suitcases and no grasp of the language, my career reset overnight. I went from managing projects to working as an assistant in a laboratory, ten steps “backward” on paper, but ten forward in perspective. I had to rebuild not just my professional identity, but my sense of self-worth. There were days when I questioned whether I had failed, and then I realized: reinvention isn’t failure; it’s growth in motion.
That experience taught me what resilience truly looks like. It’s curiosity when you don’t have the answers, humility when you start again, and courage when you choose to try anyway. The lab job became my classroom. It’s where I learned how to listen differently, ask better questions, and build trust across language and cultural barriers. Those same lessons became the foundation of my leadership style today.
Today’s leaders face constant change — restructuring, automation, hybrid work, shifting values. The ones who thrive aren’t the ones clinging to titles but those who see every shift as a chance to realign and invest in their career. Reinvention is what keeps us learning, growing, and aligned.
Why Reinvention Is the New Leadership Skill
It fuels innovation. Every pivot forces us to see differently. It pushes leaders to question assumptions and find new pathways forward. Reinvention keeps curiosity alive — and curiosity is innovation’s oxygen. When I mentor executives who feel “stuck,” I often ask, When was the last time you learned something for the first time? It’s less about finding the answer and more about awakening that spark of curiosity we’ve forgotten.
It models courage. When leaders show that feedback isn’t failure, they unlock growth in others. A manager I worked with started a practice called “Monday Misses,” where everyone — including her — shared one thing that didn’t go as planned and what they learned. It turned defensiveness into curiosity and built a culture of honest improvement.
It connects purpose and performance. Reinvention has a way of stripping things back to what actually matters. When you’re doing work that feels meaningful, you don’t have to push as hard; energy comes back on its own.
The Pivot Framework
Reflect: Ask not “What’s next?” but “What’s true for me now?” Step back and name what’s no longer serving you, even if it once did.
Reframe: Sometimes what looks like a setback is really a signal, a quiet nudge to turn in a direction you hadn’t considered. Every pivot teaches you something about what you’re capable of.
Rebuild: Design the next version of your career around clarity and impact. Start with what energizes you most, not what looks best on paper.
I use this framework often when working with leaders who feel they’ve lost their spark. One woman told me she wasn’t burnt out, just empty. Once she gave herself permission to pause, she realized the role hadn’t failed her; it had simply finished teaching her. From there, everything started to shift.
Every reinvention adds depth to our leadership canvas. Like Matisse adapting to illness with paper cut-outs, or Georgia O’Keeffe finding new inspiration in the New Mexico desert, we grow when we’re willing to evolve. Reinvention doesn’t erase our past successes; it builds on them.
It’s the same clarity framework I share in my book Beyond the Ladder: A Women’s Career Guide to Clarity, Impact, and Legacy, where I encourage professionals to design careers as living masterpieces rather than rigid checklists. Because success isn’t about how high you climb; it’s about how aligned you feel when you get there.
Reinvention doesn’t just change individuals: it transforms organizations. When leaders make space for personal evolution, they model a new kind of corporate culture: one rooted in learning, empathy, and adaptability. The ripple effect can shift entire teams from survival mode to creative confidence.
The pivot is the new promotion, not because it’s easier, but because it’s braver. It’s proof that resilience isn’t endurance; it’s evolution.
Reflection Prompt: This week, choose one small pivot — a new project, a bold conversation, or a boundary you’ve been avoiding — and watch the ripple it creates
There are many things we can learn from nature. And one of the most remarkable stories one can learn about success is from the story of a bamboo tree.
If you haven’t heard about the story of the bamboo, then great, continue to read on and you will discover the essence of life and success from the bamboo.
If you have heard about the story, still, continue to read on because I’m bringing the story from my own point of view. Let’s dive in…
The Bamboo Tree Story
Like all other plants and trees, the Chinese bamboo tree requires nurturing through water, fertile soil, and also with enough sunshine to ensure that it grows.
If you plant a bamboo tree and you give it enough water, the right soil, and also enough exposure to sunlight, you will NEVER see any visible growth in the first year.
Even if you have done everything correct, you will never see it grows.
And if you continue to nurture the bamboo tree, even after the second year, you will see no changes to the bamboo. And if you choose to continue on for the third and fourth year, still, nothing’s going to happen.
But, in the fifth year, something amazing will happen. The bamboo tree that you planted will grow to 80 feet tall in just six weeks!
Why is that so? For the first four years, nothing had happened, but in the fifth year, the bamboo tree grows to 80 feet tall in just a short six weeks.
Does this mean that within the first four years, nothing has happened to the bamboo? Nope, not at all, in fact, the bamboo tree is growing, UNDERGROUND, but you can’t see it.
The bamboo tree is a type of tree where it can grow super tall and because of its potential height.
And because of its height, it requires a strong foundation for developing a root system to support its outward growth. If the bamboo did not grow its root for a strong foundation in the first few years, it can never grow 80 feet above the ground.
The Bamboo Tree and Your Life
So, what does the bamboo tree has to do with you or your life? Everything. It is a perfect metaphor we can use to relate to everything we do in life.
Many people have dreams and goals. For instance, you may have a dream of building a successful business, or building a great career, or living your dream life.
In the first few years, no matter what career or business you ventured into, it will be extremely difficult.
You may have poured in the necessary time and effort into your goals and projects, but nothing seems to be happening.
And this is just like the bamboo tree.
In the first couple of years, nothing seems to grow from the ground even if you nurture the tree, giving it enough water, provide it with fertile soil, and make sure it has enough sunlight.
When most people pursue a goal or work on a project, if they don’t see any results after some time, they are going to give up.
I’m not sure where you are right now in your life, but I do believe that there are goals that you have set, but failed to achieve. Just think about why you failed at your goals.
The answer is common, I believe most people fail to achieve their goals because they give up and quit.
When people first set the goal, they feel excited and motivated. They are willing to take massive action.
However, after some time down the road, especially when they don’t see any progress, they started to lose faith and hope. They started to lose their interest with the goal, which eventually lead them to quitting.
Take losing weight as an example. Most people are so motivated and fired up to want to lose the extra fat in their bodies. They bought the running shoe and also signed up for a gym class.
However, after a while, it could be a few weeks or months later, they started to lose hope for their goals and lose their steam too.
As a result, they tend to put in less effort. And as time went through, they forgot about their goals and eventually got busy with other things in their lives.
Does this sound familiar?
The 6 Success Lessons to Learn from the Bamboo Tree
This is why you want to learn from the bamboo tree. There are so many things we can learn from nature.
Below are the 6 success lessons you should from the bamboo story…
1. Success Doesn’t Come Right Away
The first success lesson you should learn from the bamboo tree story is that success does not come right away.
When you poured in the hard work and dedicated a lot of your time to your goals and dreams, it does not mean that you will get to see the result immediately.
As the saying goes, “Rome was not built in a day.” Do you workout and exercise in the gym for a day and expect to lose all the fat on your body? Not at all, you don’t expect that, right?
So, what makes you expect that success will come to you right away?
Tony Robbins is right when he said that most people overestimated what they can do in a year and they underestimated what they can do in ten years.
One year will pass in an instant. And if you are not working consistently toward your goals, the year will be gone and you will accomplish nothing.
Give your goals and dreams more time. And at the same time, work on them consistently and things are going to take time.
Therefore, expect to take longer to achieve your goals, especially the worthy and big goals that will change your life forever.
2. Success Requires a Strong Foundation
The bamboo tree can never grow to 80 feet tall if it did not grow its root deep into the ground in the first few years. And the same applies to your life.
Spend time to build a strong foundation. This is especially important if your goals are big and your dreams are beyond your current level.
The problem with most people is that they don’t work on improving themselves. They don’t commit to the principle of constant and never-ending improvement. And they don’t commit to deliberate practice.
Increase and Improve Your Level
First, you must raise your level in both your knowledge and your characters before you can achieve a better result in life.
Imagine if you are at level 3 and your problem or obstacle is at level 5, it will be a big problem for you. However, things will be different when you level up yourself.
Just like playing games, when you level up, you become better. You raise your level to level 7. And now you will look at a level 5 problem as a small problem. Do you get that?
Always remember this, the size of the problems don’t matter; what truly matters is the size of you.
When you equipped yourself with powerful knowledge and built yourself with successful characters, you can achieve anything you set out to achieve.
Deliberate Practice
Next, you must commit to deliberate practice. Merely practicing every day will never make you better, unless you practice your skill deliberately. Allow me to explain…
Imagine if you are an avid jogger. You have jog for the last ten years, so does that make you a great jogger and you can enter the Olympics?
Highly likely not. Why is that?
The reason is obvious; you are practicing to make it permanent instead of deliberately practicing to improve your skill.
Simply jog for years will never improve your ability. You will hit the plague and that’s the maximum you can go.
Unless you change your strategy and deliberately practice to improve your skill, you will never get ahead.
Ask yourself these questions:
Do you set mini targets to hit every time you jog?
Do you take note of your heartbeat and breathing?
Do you just jog or do you combine jog and run?
How do you measure your speed, duration, blood pressure, and also your breathing?
Do you have a coach to look at your feedback?
How do you record your result?
Please understand this, practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice only makes permanent.
What makes perfect is deliberate practice. Meaning, you practice something for the sake of improvement and to become better.
And that’s the key to success.
If you are serious about improving your skills and becoming better in what you do, deliberate practice is what you need. You can read Cal Newport’s best-selling book, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World to learn about more the subject matter.
Hence, learn to grow a strong foundation like the bamboo tree.
3. Success Is About Your Consistency
Without consistently watering, nurturing and giving enough sunshine to the bamboo tree, it can never grow. What happens if you only nurture and water it the first month, and then do nothing for the next two months, and only decide to continue at it again?
It will never experience full growth, and you may even kill the bamboo. And this is exactly how most people treat their goals and dreams.
They think about them and work on them in the beginning, but eventually, they lose steam and never do it again.
Most people got the wrong perception and think that success is something that happens in an instant, with the right decision, at the right place, and at the right time.
This is not always the case. While I do understand that there are exceptions, most of the time, these special cases never happen. Success is about putting in consistent effort.
You cannot build a successful blog if you are just publishing only one post on it. Unless you are a celebrity, you need to put in the consistent effort to make it work.
I like the quote from Aristotle:
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.”
It is what you do every day that matters, not what you do once in a while. What you do each day has a bigger impact than what you do once every quarter.
So don’t get it wrong by thinking that you just need to do it right for once and success will come to you.
It is a continuous effort. And always remember this, taking small steps every day will add up and give you a big result.
A lot of people forget to nurture their dreams. They plan to write an article or hit the gym to work out at night, but when the time comes, they either procrastinate or have completely forgotten about what they need to get done.
And when they remember that they needed to write the article or exercise, it will be too late and they will usually say, “Tomorrow!”
Never let this happen to you, my friend. I suffer from procrastination and keep telling myself stories too.
And here’s a quote that I remind myself each and every day:
“Success is living a few years of your life like most people won’t so you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.”
So always keep your dreams in your head. Never let it slips by. You have to consistently remind yourself of what you want to accomplish in life and affirm your goals every single day.
The moment you lose sight of your goals will be the moment you procrastinate and never do anything about them. Whatever is out of your sight will be out of your mind.
5. Believe Without Doubts
Another important lesson you must learn from the bamboo tree story is that you need to believe in yourself and your dreams without a doubt.
Of course, this does not mean that you should just believe, wait and do nothing about it. You should believe in yourself and your dreams, and at the same time, work on them.
A lot of people fail to do this when they put in their effort and time but never get to see the results.
If you want to be a successful blogger, will you continue to write and publish quality content even if you are not earning anything from your blog, yet? How long will you do it for?
If you want to be a businessman, will you continue to work hard, strive to get more clients and buyers even when you are having tough times? And how long you can do that?
Highly successful people understand that success is not easy because if it is easy, everyone will be successful.
And because it is hard and requires tremendous effort especially in the early stage, you must proceed with absolute belief without a shadow of doubts.
When you look at extraordinary people such as Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Michael Jordan, Will Smith, Dwayne Johnson, Les Brown, and more, you will notice that there are many times they wanted to quit, but somehow, they choose to believe in themselves and their dreams, and they choose to move on. And that’s how they became successful.
The best way to maintain your momentum is to get someone to guide you. And you can always learn from other successful people who have done it.
If you want to discover how you can shortcut yourself to success and have something to show you the way, watch this training right now.
6. Patience and Persistence Will Pay Off
One of the most profound lessons you can learn from the bamboo tree story is none other than this – your patience and persistence will pay off.
As we have talked about it above, success will never come to you that fast and you will need to have the patience to go through the hard work in order to produce the result you desire.
And this is exactly where most people fail. Most people don’t have the patience. This is why people buy lotteries, find quick ways to lose weight and fall for get-rich-quick schemes.
While it is true that you can build a successful business with today’s technology in a faster manner, but that will still require your effort and time.
Thus, have patience and persistence, my friend. No matter what happens, tell yourself to move on and keep going forward. And don’t give up.
“Press on: nothing in the world can take the place of perseverance. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.”Calvin Coolidge
“I’m so happy I found your account! I see your work all over the place, but I never knew who made it!”
This was a comment I received on Instagram last week, and it’s not the first of its kind. Last week I hit the 100,000 follower mark on Instagram, which, silly as it sounds, was a big deal to me. I know I’m supposed to act like I don’t care about followers and these numbers don’t matter, but when you’re a brand — when you work hard to put up content almost daily and the number of people you reach correlates to your ability to actually afford groceries and rent — these numbers do matter. It was a really exciting milestone for me, but its brought to the surface some really mixed feelings I have about Instagram.
I love Instagram, obviously, and I want the platform to continue to thrive, but there are some major downsides for creators. Creators post on there, driving traffic to the app, but, unlike a platform like YouTube, creators aren’t compensated for all of the work they do to bring people to the app. That’s a big scale problem, and one that I don’t have the capacity to directly address, but there’s also the sharing (and, all too often, stealing) issue, which is what I want to talk about here.
Before I get into it, I have to admit that writing about this is difficult for me, because I feel the following:
Worried that I’ll sound ungrateful for my audience
Silly for being angry about something like Instagram
Embarrassed that my ego is possessive of my work
Annoyed that I have to care about “credit” as a creator
But, as uncomfortable as I feel writing this, it’s something I’ve been wanting to talk about for a long time. See, over the past few years, things have changed a lot in terms of Positively Present’s content and audience. Part of this has been my personal growth, my desire to create and share art in addition to writing, and part of it is a shift in the way people consume content online. I used to just write (and occasionally create images or illustrations) here on the site. They would get shared, yes, but typically with a link to the site so it was a give-and-take situation: someone would take my work and share it and, in return, I would be given the opportunity to reach new people. But, with Instagram, all of that’s different now. It’s a lot more take than give. Because Instagram doesn’t make it easy to share links (particularly if you don’t have a large account) or credit creators, it’s up to individuals to give credit, and many people don’t know how (or even that they should).
I’ve shared guidelines before (the number of times a day I have to write “Check the FAQ story highlights for details on sharing!” is mind-boggling), but I thought I’d write them out again here. Keep reading for more on why these guidelines are so important for creators (’cause it’s about way more than wanting more followers!).
PERSONAL ACCOUNT GUIDELINES
Creators love when personal accounts share their work because we’re getting a real, positive promotion from someone who genuinely likes our work and wants to share it with family and friends. Unfortunately, because the everyday Instagram user often isn’t familiar with Instagram etiquette, they often don’t know to credit properly. Here’s the deal:
Always mention the creator in the first two lines of the caption.
Always tag the creator in the image itself.
Never filter, crop, or edit the image (doing so is changing the work without permission).
Never share a bunch of one creator’s photos in a row (it’s just rude. and weird.).
Consider purchasing something from a creator, particularly if you share the work frequently.
Stop following freebooting accounts (see below) and follow creators instead.
BRAND ACCOUNT GUIDELINES
Ideally, brands should be paying creators to make content for them — particularly the large brands — but since this isn’t how things seem to work for the most part, at the very least, brands should do the following:
Always ask permission before sharing. Large brands that have shared my work, magazines like Shape, Glamour, and Teen Vogue, do this. Smaller brands frequently do not, and it’s problematic because no creator wants their work connected to a cause / product / celebrity they don’t support.
Always mention the creator in the first two lines of the caption. This is especially important for brands to do because, if you’re getting content for free, the very least you can do is drive some traffic to the creator’s account.
Always tag the creator in the image itself.
Never filter, crop, or edit the image (doing so is changing the work without a creator’s permission).
Never share a bunch of one creator’s photos in a row (it’s just rude. and weird.).
Never imply the creator is a partner of or affiliated with the brand (unless a paid partnership is in place).
Never use an image to promote a sale, promotion, event, or other business-related content.
Hire the creators you really like to create custom work for you. It’s way cooler than just reposting!
FREEBOOTING ACCOUNT GUIDELINES
Freebooting accounts are Instagram accounts (like this) that do not create any of their own content, but instead share only other people’s content to grow their own page. I’m not fully aware of the purpose of this and, in many cases, I don’t believe it’s malicious, but it’s still harmful to creators and particularly unfair when these freebooting accounts grow very large and receive compensation in the form of sponsorships, ads, and other partnerships — all while creating no work of their own.
Never share creators’ work unless you’re going to create work of your own.
If you want to curate things, hop over to Pinterest. That’s what it’s for.
Why are you doing this? What are you getting out of it? Likes? Stop it.
Just cut it out.
No.
Stop.
Seriously. Why?
So, why these guidelines? Why not just share my work and not worry about the credit? (A creator I love specifically says that anyone can share her work without credit and, as much as I love the idea of that — so selfless! so altruistic! — it plays all too well into the age-old tale of the starving artist, the notion that, in order to be creative, one doesn’t actually make a living off one’s work.) In reality, credit — as silly as it sounds — is a huge deal for creators.
As far as I can tell, there’s never been a period of time in history where creators’ works were just taken and used whenever and wherever. If, back in the day, you owned an art shop, you couldn’t just take a painter’s work and then sell it as your own without physically stealing the paintings. Now, it’s just a few taps on your phone, and you can take creative content and share it. For free. All the sharing is wonderful in that in can, if an image is credited properly, drive traffic to a creator’s account.
But, most of the time, creators’ work isn’t credited properly (or at all). I personally struggle with this a great deal. On one hand, I want to be open and carefree and think, I’m just generous creator and I’m happy to have my work shared and appreciated, even if I don’t receive any appreciation or compensation for it. But another part of me can’t seem to shake the notion that this work is mine. It whispers to me, You worked so hard on this. Why shouldn’t you receive credit or, god forbid, compensation for what you’ve done?
I don’t want to feel the “mine-ness” of my work, but I do. Every time I see my work shared without credit, it feels like a sharp sting, a pinprick in my heart. Every time I see my work with the signature removed — someone’s deliberate attempt to claim it as their own — it feels like I’ve been shoved to the ground, wind knocked out of me.
This feeling of ownership is a strange mix of selfishness (That’s mine!, my mind squeals like a toddler when her toy has been snatched away) and selflessness (Hey! When you just share others’ work, you’re really missing out on the joy of creating it yourself!, my mind also exclaims.) It sounds silly to say, but I almost feel guilty, being part of this culture that encourages people to look and share rather than make and create. Sometimes it feels like I’m spinning around on a giant dance floor — not the best dancer in the world, but having a damn good time — with all of these people standing on the sidelines saying, “Wow! I love your dance moves! That looks fun!” and I want to yell, If you like it, get out here! Try it. Make something!
It makes me wonder: Why are creators giving so much away for free? (Answer: Because they have to in order to gain followers and be considered “successful” enough to be worthy of brand deals, ads, book contracts, etc.) What kinds of creativity are we losing by staring at screens filled with things other people have made instead of making things ourselves? (Answer: Unknown, but probably a lot of cool stuff!) Maybe we’d be better off if people put down their phones and picked up a pencil or a paintbrush. Perhaps this makes me sound ungrateful and petulant, but I’m constantly conflicted by the desire to make work that is appreciated and the desire to work alone quietly, undetected. And, as strange as it might sound if you’re not in the same position, it’s actually really stressful to be torn between these two things.
You might be thinking at this point: If you’re so bothered by this, why don’t you just not share it? Or just post it on your website? There are two main reasons I continue to share my work on Instagram (and other social media platforms): (1) It’s one of the best ways to grow an audience and, therefore, make enough money to (barely…) be able to afford food, and (2) I genuinely enjoy it and want to help people. Have you ever heard that old saying, What would you do all day if you didn’t have to worry about money? Well, I’m doing it. I love writing and drawing and creating and sharing and helping other people with simple things that speak to them. I really do. I don’t really care about getting credit — yes, there’s a part of me that thinks “mine!” but most of me really just wants to make things, even if no one sees them — but I do care about making a living and, like it or not, getting credit indirectly leads to getting paid.
With this post, it’s not my intention to sound whiny or thankless — particularly amidst the joy of reaching a big Instagram milestone! 100k! Hooray!! — but, as much as social media feels like a frivolous time-waster, for a lot of creators — including me! — it’s really not. It matters. It’s how we find work, sell products, build brands that will attract publishing houses or product distributors or whoever else can help us to grow our businesses. And, remember: the more a creator succeeds, the more content you’ll likely get.
Mostly, I just wanted to get all of this out of my mind and into words. It’s a weird and wonderful time to be a creative, and I’m incredibly grateful for all of the appreciation and opportunities that have come my way as a result of Instagram (and social media in general), but I think it’s important for people who aren’t creators — those who are consuming the content — to think about the other side to all of this free art. Creators are real people, people who work really hard to make things, and if you like what they do, you should support them — at the very least, by crediting their work, but, if you can, by actually paying for their work.
If you can, buy something from a creator you follow this week. Pick up an art print. Buy a book. Or, if that’s not an option, try creating something yourself. Above all, that’s what I’d really love to see: more people creating, fewer people consuming. (Stay tuned for more on this soon!)
I obviously had a lot to say on this subject, but I’d love to hear from you, too! Are you a creator? What is your experience with Instagram / sharing / social media? If you’re not a creator, do you think about this? What are your thoughts now? Let me know in the comments section below!
If you want to know the truth, I’m not often happy. I was born with a disposition that lends itself to melancholy and anxiety. I’ve always been a worrier and I’m prone to bouts of deep, dramatic sadness. But I’m not complaining. You know why? Because happiness isn’t my life’s goal. And, if you’re looking for honesty here, it shouldn’t be your life’s goal either.
One of the greatest struggles I’ve had over the past (almost!) 10 years of working on Positively Present is misconception that happiness = positivity. In fact, that was one of the greatest struggles of my life before I started truly understanding positivity. I was taught — as most of us are — that the ideal life is a happy life, but the fact is: happiness isn’t something you can guarantee, and making that your life’s focus is going to lead to intense disappointment and a constant, feverish need to find the next source of happiness as soon as the feeling fades.
Back in 2015, I wrote a post called Happiness Is Not a Choice: The Difference Between Happiness + Positivity, and after reading a bunch of happiness-related quotes (in preparation for the 2018 Gratitude Challenge — it’s not too late to join in if you want!), I decided I wanted to revisit the topic since I think it’s one of the most important distinctions for anyone who wants to live a more positive, present life to understand.
Here are some of the differences between happiness and positivity, along with some thoughts on each!
Happiness is a mood. Positivity is a mindset.
Happiness is fleeting. No matter what wonderful thing happens, the happy feelings will only last so long, and that’s because, like any emotion, happiness is transitory. Positivity, on the other hand, is a way of seeing the world. It’s an attitude that you can embrace no matter how difficult the circumstances. Regardless of how you’re feeling or what you’re experiencing, you can always choose to look for the good (even if the “good” is simply a life lesson that will ultimately make you stronger) and hope for a better tomorrow.
Happiness may be out of your control. Positivity is a choice you can always make.
When you’re having a terrible day or something horrific has happened to you, it’s going to be difficult (if not impossible) to be happy. Happiness can sometimes be within your control based on your choices in life, but there are a lot of things we can’t control that cause unhappiness. Positivity is always within our control. Being optimistic — no matter how bad the situation — is a choice. You might be miserable, but with a positive attitude you can still believe that better things are coming and that you can take away something meaningful from every experience.
Happiness is generally short-lived. Positivity can be ever-present.
Think about the last time you were truly, joyously, can’t-stop-smiling happy. How long did it last? An hour? A day? A week? Happiness, no matter how amazing the cause of it, doesn’t last for long. It’s wonderful and amazing when it happens, but it’s not a state of mind; it’s an emotion. But positivity is different. It’s a mindset, which means that, as long as you continue to work on it and practice it, you can keep it around forever. Happiness is fleeting, but positivity can be ever-lasting.
Happiness is part of a disposition that can be inherited. Positivity is life-changing skill that can be learned.
Happiness is an emotion, but it’s one that some people are more likely to experience simply based on how they were made. Some people are more likely to be joyful and cheerful, to have inherited a sunny disposition. Unfortunately, some are less likely to have inherited those traits, making the emotion of happiness more elusive. However, that’s no reason to despair, because, regardless of the disposition you’ve inherited, you can learn the art of positivity through practice and patience. It’s not always easy, but it’s much more possible than changing your DNA!
Happiness all the time would be miserable. Positivity all the time leads to contentment.
Can you imagine what it would be like to be happy ALL the time? In theory, it sounds amazing, but, in reality, there’d be nothing to compare it to, so it wouldn’t seem like anything special. In fact, it would probably be quite maddening if all of the sudden you were given everything you ever wanted and never again felt any emotion other than happiness. Being positive all the time, however, is one of the best ways I’ve found to lead a more contented, accepting life. It’s a skill that will transform every aspect of life — making the happy moments happier and the painful moments less painful.
Happiness is a goal that might not be achieved. Positivity is a mindset one can adopt with certainty.
No matter how hard you might work toward what you think will bring you happiness — the perfect partner, career, etc. — you might not be able to achieve it because, let’s face it, life is like that sometimes. No matter how badly you want something, it’s not guaranteed. And, once you get that thing, there’s no guarantee it’ll make you feel happy (nor a guarantee on how long it’ll make you feel happy). A positive attitude is a mindset you can choose with certainty, no matter what life throws at you. And, I can 100% assure you that, no matter how bad things get, positivity will only make them better.
As you can see, the differences between happiness and positivity are multitudinous. As many times as they’re interchanged in popular culture, it’s important to remember that they’re not the same thing. Happiness could have you chasing after things for decades, endlessly waiting for the day when everything feels perfect. Positivity will always meet you right where you are, good day or bad day, through all of life’s ups and downs. If you spend your life chasing happiness, you’ll always be on the hunt for something. But if you focus on mastering the skill of positivity, you’ll be able to make the most of wherever you are, whatever comes your way.
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